The InterDimensional Traveller's Guide
by Brettyboop01
Summary: Thaddeus Verheyen, disappointed owner of the most boring life ever, is pulled into something that only fan boys dream of; he's stuck in the Mass Effect Universe, for a reason unknown. It's the Inter-Dimensional Traveller's Guide to an Interesting life.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N Okay, never done this before, ever, but I've been told by some that I can write a mean story, not mean as in hurtful but, you know what I mean. Now what I've done is a sort of SI story, kinda, I've made my character but have put in my own personality and view on things as his own, so half SI and half whatever it's called. So sit back and relax as you read through my story, I've got things to do in life besides writing this story so Chapters may be 1-2 days apart depending of what's going on, I've got from Thursday night till 2 weeks later free so expect chapters every night after Thursday if you like it that is. Ok, here it is, Chapter one, enjoy, also I want to rant about something at the end, Spoilers involved with Mass Effect.**

"Just a normal day, ugh, boooring" I announced loud enough for everyone at the bus stop to hear, which is interesting, no one stopped and looked, and usually I get stares from every Tom, Dick and Harry with my daily announcements.

"Right-o, fine, don't improve my day by acting weird towards me, it's not like I care or anything" I muttered quietly to no one in particular. Well, nothing to do anymore besides get up out of bed, get on the bus, go to work and reverse, nothing ever interesting happens to me. Some say I should develop a hobby, "HA!" I shouted, damn I wasn't meant to say that, still, War Hammer got old quickly, defeated no one of course because there isn't anyone here. Tried models as well, not hard enough or time consuming.

"Why is life so easy? It's boring being able to do near everything." I've tried so many things in life, instruments and games, fun but easy, god I wish I was stuck having to save the Universe, now that'd be hard thinking back to the Mass Effect Trilogy.

Ok ok hold up right there, I'm telling you my story from a first person perspective but you have no idea who I am, that does have SOME importance, does it not? Ok, I'm Thaddeus, or Thad to people who know me, or Tad to those who've read/seen Cujo and just Thaddeus the Conqueror to anyone I think beneath me, I'm 19, 6ft something and have brown hair/eyes and I'm Australian, mate. Ok that mate was intentional, adding some sort of effect to this whole shenanigan of an explanatory paragraph. Ok now you've got me covered, back to the story.

As I thought of that wonderful masterpiece over in my head, I got a headache. "Oh wow, a headache, just what I need" I shout out. (I'm a very open person with these things; it makes life interesting is all.) Wait how'd I get a headache, things don't just happen like th…I was cut off mid thought, my vision was blurred for a moment then everything twisted and changed. "_Oh god", I thought, "What's happening? What's going on?". _Suddenly I was dropped out of the air, I tried to land on my feet, but my blurry vision and….dead legs? That stopped me from achieving that goal. I landed flat on my front, lying flat on cold metal. _"Metal? What? I am on the Bus? Why am I lying down?" _I wondered as my vision began to return. "Argh, Damnit!" I loudly say, it was bright, my eyes were burning and I couldn't focus. I quickly scanned around me, hoping for some shade from this light, I spotted a dark hallway. Not even stopping to wonder why there was a hallway in a bus, I dragged myself to the darkness, trying to get my body to work again. I lay in the dark for what seemed like hours, trying to adjust to the new setting around me as well as the light. I soon discovered that I wasn't on the bus, but was on…something. 'Twas as far as I got, don't judge me. "What a day it's been, and it's only…", I looked at my watch, the damn thing was going AWOL, and I have no idea why. "Woah calm down watch, no need to get freaky on me, we've only been abducted by some random stranger in a large metallic vehicle" I say to my watch, oh good, talking to my watch, finally something interesting, besides the crazy guy who owns this, car? Bus? Plane? Oh goody I'm probably on a plane, maybe I'll end up in Africa, then I can try my luck to stow away on another plane full of Illegal diamond smugglers and grab some Z's as well as a couple of those D's for some extra cash. I quickly slap myself, "What an idiotic idea, most probable one right now for the marvellous contraption is that it's an Alien Vessel, yep, that's my idea on probability". I gain my legs ability to walk again and get up, looking around the dark hallway. "Interesting, this place is spotless, no dirt at all" I observe. A thought popped into my head at that moment; trash the place, nah too hard. Another one, get out of the hallway and into the lit up area you fool, you can't SEE! I rub my eyes again and talk a step outside the darkness, as soon as I do something else large and made of metal flies past me at break-neck speeds and literally nearly breaks my neck. "Holy Cream sauce on Cupcakes!" I yelp jumping back into the dark again. As I watch the metal fly away I notice 1, that it's flying and 2, that it looks oddly familiar. "Hey that looks like…*Gasp*…holy nipples that was from Mass Effect!" Oh wow, things got interesting in my life, not exactly saving the Universe exactly but pretty damn close. I suddenly look around my environment with new eyes, seeing where I was. "Jiminy freaking Ginormicas Batman, it's the mother of all Space Stations" I breathe softly, "I'm on the Citadel".

**That didn't take very long to write actually, just a write down of how I'm gonna structure this story, such as certain blurts of craziness and Quick 'Look at the camera and speak about what's going on behind you in the movie while it's paused' moments. Now a quick rant, Mass Effect Trilogy is amazing, even the last one despite the ending. Some say no choices make a difference, when they do. You learn that back in ME1 the DA (Destiny Ascension) has the power to blow through shields and armour like no bodies business, ehy, reference to Reaper fighting there, now if you go back and play you can find these little notes too, which helps you get the best possible ending given. Can't wait for that DLC Bioware, waiting for the much better ending. **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Ok this whole story has been pretty much revised, I screwed up majorly last time I wrote on this, so for the last few weeks I've pretty much been doing all I can to correct this as well as start on another less comedy style more serious story. For now enjoy the revised chapters and I'll post a Beta of the new story later.**

Ok, on the Citadel, that's an extremely interesting turn of events for my life, I mean seriously, I asked for this and I got it. "Hmm, I wish I had some hot alien chick at my side right now-ish!" I yelled towards the higher areas above me. Okay silly wish but hey, I wished for something interesting and now I'm here, so may as well.

"Okay, now, what to do?" I wondered when suddenly I felt a rumble. "Oh god what the hell is that!" I yelped which I quickly felt stupid for when I figured out I was hungry. Well, time to taste some alien food.

I was walking around for about an hour and I still hadn't found anything. "Well shit, I'm lost" I mentioned to no one in particular, "Seems I'll need to ask for directions". Oh nice one Thaddeus, yes ask the garbage can why don't you, gah! I sighed as I made my way along the 357th hallway I've been down that day.

It was about another hour I think that I spent walking around trying to find one of those Transit Stations littered around the place, I mean come on, there's like 5 in a general area in each game, why isn't there some arou…AHA! My eyes focused on a Transit station about 200 metres away.

"Oh finally, I'll be able to set my destination easily and work out where I am" I told myself. I started to jog towards the station, my legs still a bit wobbly from my transportation here, which I'll figure out later.

As I went past a corner something moved from the same direction, before I could react something slammed into me extremely fast. As I hit the ground the object landed on top of me in an awkward position, meaning its knee landed on my groin.

"Oh Jesus….why me?" I managed to mutter as a pain not even death could save me from. As I lifted my head up to see what was on me, that was when I noticed that it wasn't an object, it was an Alien.

The Alien wore Latex like skin tight suit with different tubes, ports and lights scattered all over it. As I looked it over it raised its head, and through a misty visor I saw two glowing eyes staring straight back at me.

"Oh dear" muttered the creature, "I'm so sorry I ran into you, I was in a bit of a rush". I noticed a bit of a Russian like accent, I think, or was it Austrian, for the moment let's go with Russian.

"Ha-ha, no problem" I managed to puff out, still paining from the kick to the groin, trying to manage a smile. Finally seeing that it was a she when she leaned back she had, those, I felt a bit weird.

"Oh my!" she yelped as she noticed where her knee was, quickly jumping back but stumbling and falling back onto my chest again, nearly knocking me out with her helmet. "Ow damnit, that's one powerful attack you have there" I joked, "It's super effective", Pokemon joke for the win.

She giggled at that one, sweet making progress with the first person I've met on this place. "Well I think that's enough cuddling for now" I said with a smug smile on my face. She proceeded to laugh hysterically at that one, I don't even know why. "Ok, time to get up, I'm in a bit of pain and I would like some breathing room" I told her.

She gladly got up and held out her GAH! It's got two fingers and a thumb…okay I know this, it's a Quarian, holy crap how did I not remember, anyways I'm meeting one of my most favourite character species out of the whole game trilogy for real, this is the best day ever!

I accept her out held hand and notice that she has a delicate feel to her, even though she just beat me up without intention.

"Thanks Miss…" I slowly say, trying to learn her name. "Sathre, Sathre'Tari Nar Terressa, and you?" she asked in return. "Thaddeus Verheyen, quick question, why were you in such a rush?"

"Oh Keelah, I forgot, I must get to the docking bay! My friend is supposedly there and I want to see her off before she leaves! Oh Keelah I'm going to be late!" she exclaimed quickly, moving towards the transit station.

"Docking bay? Maybe its Tali and the Normandy, I mean come on she's pretty much the only Quarian on the Citadel, let's go!" My mind kicked into gear and I started after her. "Hey Sathre, I'm new here and I was wondering if I could tag along with you, so after you see your friend you could maybe, show me around?" I asked my ever so polite lie as she was trying to catch a ride through the station. As soon as I said that she turned around and looked at me intently, "You want to hang around with me? A Quarian? I thought all the species around the Galaxy hated us for creating the Geth?" she asked.

"Well you see, I'm not one for judging those faults of ancestors on the current beings of that particular race, plus I've always really been into Quarians" I spoke informativly, "In the sense of you being interesting through your Biological Form as well as Physical Form" I quickly added, so to not sound weird, bugger still sounded bad.

"How nice of you" she said with a slight hint of bashfulness.

"Yeah, I'm a nice person most of the time, always willing to offer a hand when needed, you know" I mentioned. "Well, come on then our ride's here, let's go" she stated.

The shuttle came down in an easy fashion, near exactly like it does in the game, but it looks that much better, and realistic too. Actually, thinking about it now, everything is absolutely beautiful, the game does this place no justice. Hell even the holographic displays look amazing, I mean wow, seriously, I wish I could take a picture and bring it back to….oh.

I just remembered that I've been transported out of my life, whisked away from my family, friends. "Woo Hoo" I shouted, pumping my arms up and down and doing a little jig, all the while Sarthe was just watching.

"What are you doing?" she asked me with an element of confusion. Oh right, I'm not alone, there is someone here. "Oh this, it's my people's native dance, for when we have seen something of…" I quickly scan the area, looking for something to relate my jig to. Aha, the view, it was beautiful, I'll go with that. "When we have seen something beautiful and must let others know of what we've seen". Yep, nailed it, she can't contend with that.

"Oh" she said softly, looking down slightly and raising her hand to her visor. Oh shizenhower (Shy-Zen-How-Er)! She thinks I meant her, crap, now I'm flirting with her without even knowing it. I'm sending this girl the wrong messages, I think. I quickly slap myself for my stupidity, which she gladly didn't notice.

Quickly shaking that thought off, I jumped into the Shuttle next to Sarthe as she started to choose the destination. As it started up she turned to me, not just her head, but she turned her whole body to face me. "So, you do that 'Dance' in the presence of great beauty" she says shyly to me.

Oh fudge it, let's roll with it and see where this goes. "Yes, you may not have noticed it being performed by any other human before, because no one can recognise true beauty like me". I swear if she didn't have that helmet on she would've blushed at that very moment. Stop it Thad, you're being an idiot again!

We spoke a little more as the shuttle just took forever, hope I don't have to use the elevators. I decided to ask her about her Biology make up and her immune system, as well as a little background on her people and what brought her to the Citadel, which I learned was for her Pilgrimage. I knew most of what she was talking about, but I didn't mind hearing it again, especially from the REAL THING!

We were really getting to know each other, quite well I might add, but our shuttle ride ended and there we were. We walked for about 5 minutes and then there we were, outside the docking bay for the SSV Normandy SR1…Alliance Vessel.

**A/N Ok that was much better, I don't know why I did what I did last time, I mean come on, that was just silly, got them flirting already, instead I've put it down as an accidental thing which works. I've also accidentally done it myself sometimes, to my friends of all people. Any who, just click on over to the next chapter as well as the one after that and don't forget to leave a review because if I had one on that little screw up before then I wouldn't have taken so long to correct it. Thanks and the Boop is out.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N I just noticed I spelled Sathre wrong, putting the r before the th, so sorry about that, but it's definitely Sathre pronounced Sath-er, just spelled Australian English way **

Oh wow, it's the SSV Normandy SR1 Alliance Vessel, I mean come on, it's the SSV Normandy SR1 Alliance Vessel, there has to be more words than wow. Wish I had a Thesaurus or something to come up with some Synonyms, damn, should've packed better, oh wait, right.

"There she is, come on, we can catch her before they get on board" Sathre quickly spoke. Enough Synonym thinking let's get to the damn Dock. As soon as the shuttle landed we both pretty much jumped out, hell I don't think we even landed properly, she probably forced the door open with her immense strength.

"Ow, were we landed properly" I asked Sathre, feeling a little pained in my legs from the drop. "Of course we were, how many times have you flown in these, because those who've only just taken their first flight in them feel like you do" she answered me matter of fact like.

"Well yeah, I just had my first flight" I muttered, "Haven't been on the Citadel long mind you". About 2-3 hours I think, or was I just imagining those hours flying by?

Ok, in the Citadel with a random Quarian heading towards the Normandy, this day is officially awesome, but I have to remember my gaming experience. This is the SSV Normandy SR1, so that means we're in Mass Effect 1's timeline. Therefore I must get the hell off the Citadel soon in order to not be blown away by those damn Geth that take over. Good, priorities set and we've got an approximate amount of time to get them done, what was it, 2 months? 3? No idea, but I guess we can start trying to leave as soon as the Normandy leaves, just to be sure. Wait how do I even know that the timelines of this place that I'm in correspond to that of the games? Meh who cares it's all I've got and I'm sticking to it.

"This is the only way through to the Dock, she has to pass through here, so I guess we can find a spot to sit and just wait" Sathre stated, "So, what do you wish to do while we wait?"

As soon as she turned to me as she sat down on a crate, I swear she looked a little shy. I guess she was a little flattered by my accidental compliments and actually wanting to hang out with her.

"I'm not sure" I respond "Depends on how long we have to wait, doesn't it?"

"There is a multitude of things we could do to pass the time" she says.

"Ok, name some and I'll choose" I respond with a smirk on my face.

"Well there's, umm..." she says with a hint of confusion, "Oh I, no not that".

"Seems there isn't a multitude of things that we can do at a dock" I say now with a smile, "To bad I started to learn about your people on the way here, couldn't possibly be that much more to learn".

"Oh right'" she said with a giggle.

We talked for a while; she told me all about her people, again, but things I never heard Tali say. It was quite an interesting learning experience, but I think I'll keep these new things to myself for now.

"So enough about me, what about you and your people, I would like to know more about these 'Native Dances' that you speak of" she spoke, laughing all the way through.

Oh crap, back on the 'Native Dance' thing again, it was an honest mistake, I didn't mean to make it as if it was towards her.

Well, one thing is easy to understand about my situation, everything I wish for comes true. The first wish being an interesting life and second being hot alien chick by my side. Why did I wish for the second one again? I mean I got it, but I'm hesitant, god I'm picky, but I'm in control.

"Oh yeah, the Native Dance, you see" I said trying to quickly think of something, "We do it in the presence of great beauty; it is to help spread the word of this beauty to others. It isn't practiced much these days because it is of older times".

"Is that so" she spoke softly, rubbing her hand over her opposite arm in that shy sort of manner, "Well, I've never known anybody with such a dance that has ever done it towards a Quarian".

"Oh uh, yeah about that, I think I may have mislead you there. The whole dance isn't a real thing" I muttered, finally telling her the truth, "I just remembered something that made me extremely excited and I just started dancing…Sorry".

"Oh" was all she said, but before she or I could say anymore the hiss that the Citadel doors make happened just behind us and whaddaya know, a well-known figure just happens to walk through it.

"Bugger me" I breathed out, it's freaking Shepard, female one don't you know it. Just striding in with her crew close behind her, all of them, Wrex the big arse Krogan of the clan Urdnot, Ashley the tough space marine of the ME Universe, Kaiden the Biotic bitch that I didn't really get along with in the first game. Tali'Zorah Nar Rayya, the faithful Quarian engineer of the team an Shepard, the badass alien arse kicking hero, this day couldn't get any better.

**A/N Finally, fixing up everything, romance can come later, right now we need some ACTION…or you know…whatever you want is fine. So stay tuned, I'm getting this whole thing sorted out a bit faster, maybe 1 more week till the next one due to assignments and such, it'll get done. Short but sweet chapter and I'm getting better at writing I can feel it, been reading Alex Barkhorn's stories and I love them, plus I learn how to write like a pro. Check him out, seriously.**

**Boop out.**


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